Day 1:
Romans 14:7-8
7 For none of us lives for himself and none dies for himself.
8 If we live, we live for the Lord; if we die, we die for the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's.
It's Ash Wednesday and I woke up just expecting the day to be the usual Ash Wednesday. I planned to attend mass but was not sure where. Then it was almost noon time that I felt lazy to go to church. Plus after reading the daily gospel, I was enlightened that I do not have to have that ash crossed on my forehead. The important thing is that I know the meaning of the start of lent. So I figuratively crossed my forehead for a commitment of penance this Lent season.
But God is marvelous, just awesome. Since I got lazy to go to church and attend the Holy Eucharist, He brought the church to me. I mean, there was a schedule mass in our office at 12:15. I bet God would would have told me "now you have no excuse my dear".
I ate lunch first, together with my lunch ladies mindful of no meat fasting. It was homily already when we arrived at the mass - glad I had my daily readings already.
Fasting, Prayer and Almsgiving are the 3 important things discussed like the previous Ash Wednesdays. We fast not for us to get thinner but for us to value sacrifice. We pray not for us to as blessing but to repent and ask for mercy and forgiveness. We give alms not to show off we have money and that we're generous but to learn how to be selfless. That's how I understood the homily.
Then the priest started sharing what he sacrificed for fasting before and for a moment I was thinking what's mine.
Out of the blue, Facebook logo appeared in my thoughts. Oh Nooo!!! Facebook has been my company for this lonely life. Oh No! How will I tell my friends about SFC ICON, about my trip to Baguio or my trip to Ilocos. Oh no! As I resisted the thought, a part of me was embracing it.
Much to my surprise, I even asked my friend Kim to watch over me as I fast Facebook. oh no! I have to stand for this. Maybe I needed that. There were many thoughts but I settled, 40 days without Facebook for the Glory of God.
He even affirmed during Communion, at the time I am in front of the priest, he timed out to get mire Eucharistic host and since we were only few left, He gave both the symbol of the blood and body of Christ. God's really working there for me.
Then after the mass, perhaps he sees why Im into Facebook is because I want to share, he give me this thought of writing this off. My 40-day Facebookless journey. My 40-day journey with God. This is for the Glory of God.
I posted one last status message before deactivating my account. "You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship you. Purify my heart Lord so that I may glorify you."
Facebook was deactivated temporarily.
Things to post in FB:
Ash Wednesday forehead photo
Haven't packed my things yet for tomorrow's light when I used to do this at least a week before my trip.
2.13.2013
2.11.2012
Earthquake Struck Visayas 2.6.12
2/6/2012
I just came back to Manila the night of Feb 5 from my mother's funeral and burial. I was still very tired and stressed maybe due to the sleepless nights and tremendous crying that I asked for additional 1 day leave in the office. It was noon time when 2 of my friends in Cebu texted regarding an earthquake which was very strong that hit them. They were in Lapu-lapu City so I tried texting my other siblings. Ate Mayet in our hometown did not felt it same with Titing Delio who was in Lapu-lapu. I tried calling Inday Cherry in Balamban and she said, it was very strong in their place.
I immediately research the internet for the latest update but phivolcs site was down. Many of friends were updating in facebook and there was this tsunami alert raised. Some people misunderstood the alert as that there was really a tsunami coming to he Visayan shores that created tsunami scare and chaos in Cebu City alone. Some people pranked that the water was already in COlon creatig a huge commotion of the crowd in the city.
I on my end, kept contacting friends and loveones if they were okay and explain to them to be calm and not panic. PANIC means People Are Not Inform Correctly. Well, I was worried a lot deep inside and kept on praying that no tragedy will happen. I just lost my mother and I couldn't take losing - my clan - worst case. So I kept on praying and reminding them to calm and just be vigilant.
I just came back to Manila the night of Feb 5 from my mother's funeral and burial. I was still very tired and stressed maybe due to the sleepless nights and tremendous crying that I asked for additional 1 day leave in the office. It was noon time when 2 of my friends in Cebu texted regarding an earthquake which was very strong that hit them. They were in Lapu-lapu City so I tried texting my other siblings. Ate Mayet in our hometown did not felt it same with Titing Delio who was in Lapu-lapu. I tried calling Inday Cherry in Balamban and she said, it was very strong in their place.
I immediately research the internet for the latest update but phivolcs site was down. Many of friends were updating in facebook and there was this tsunami alert raised. Some people misunderstood the alert as that there was really a tsunami coming to he Visayan shores that created tsunami scare and chaos in Cebu City alone. Some people pranked that the water was already in COlon creatig a huge commotion of the crowd in the city.
I on my end, kept contacting friends and loveones if they were okay and explain to them to be calm and not panic. PANIC means People Are Not Inform Correctly. Well, I was worried a lot deep inside and kept on praying that no tragedy will happen. I just lost my mother and I couldn't take losing - my clan - worst case. So I kept on praying and reminding them to calm and just be vigilant.
There were 3 more aftershocks of that 6.9 magnitude earthquake that devastated majorly Negros. Even the aftershocks were strong where the last one was around 7 in the evening as roported by friends. That evening, we housemates offer the rosary for the safety of everyone way back home and thankfully God is with us, as always.
Well apparently, even the earthquake was over, the commotion of Visayan people did not yet end as a certain Ahcee Flores posted ill-hearted words with the thought that she is praying that tsunami will happen so that many Visayans who she/he calls Baduy (low class) will die. That created chaos in the cryberworld even I reacted to that. They say it was a troll or someone using somebody else's photo posting some devastating words. Anyways, I only hope, he or she find the peace that she deserved.
x.o.x.o
Well apparently, even the earthquake was over, the commotion of Visayan people did not yet end as a certain Ahcee Flores posted ill-hearted words with the thought that she is praying that tsunami will happen so that many Visayans who she/he calls Baduy (low class) will die. That created chaos in the cryberworld even I reacted to that. They say it was a troll or someone using somebody else's photo posting some devastating words. Anyways, I only hope, he or she find the peace that she deserved.
x.o.x.o
1.23.2012
What Am I?
Am I a Carrot? an Egg? or a Coffee Bean?
xoxo
From Anonymous:
A young woman went to her mother
and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not
know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of
fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots
with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and
the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without
saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She
fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and
placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you
see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She
did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break
it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she
asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the
same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However
after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected
its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside
became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were
in the boiling water they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity
knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee
bean?"
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong,
but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes
with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a
financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does
my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff
spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the
hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot,
it releases the fragrance and flavor.
If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you
get better and change the situation around you. When the hours is the darkest
and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another lever?
**********************************************************************
I wish that right now I have the courage to say that I am a coffee bean. That whatever the circumstances, in the worst and the darkest days, I would get better and stronger and be able to change the situation around me. I would love to think that i do get better and stronger and can manage everything.
But sometimes, it seems to me that I am a carrot. Looking so tough and so strong at first but after the storm gets wilt, soft, damaged and lose strength and then like a baby crying so hard under the comfort of my pillows in the loneliest times.
But sometimes, it seems to me that I am a carrot. Looking so tough and so strong at first but after the storm gets wilt, soft, damaged and lose strength and then like a baby crying so hard under the comfort of my pillows in the loneliest times.
And I tend be an egg that became hardened and stiff and succumb to pretending that I'm the same. I'm okay but on the inside is full of bitterness and pain and hard feelings.
I guess I am all three at times but I want to be just one.
I hope I could be a coffee bean.
I guess I am all three at times but I want to be just one.
I hope I could be a coffee bean.
How about you?
xoxo
1.19.2012
NYT 2012
Two-zero-one-two! It's a new year after all. This post is about the New Year and my personal thoughts about it. Just a disclaimer, this is all just my personal thoughts and all about myself, not totally informational but more of personal.Here it goes:
The 2011 has not been really very good to me. But of course there were good things that happened in 2011 too and even the not-good things, I believe they happened for a reason. So let me talk about the good things and the not-good things 2011 brought for a better understanding of my New Year thoughts.
January 2011: It was more focused on work and catching up being the newest team member. I had to step up my game so that I won't be left behind.
February 2011: I went to CamSur for the 18th SFC international conference themed I stand and visited neighboring province Albay and was able to see and appreciate the famous Mayon Volcano.
March 2011: It marked the 4th year of my relationship with Bryan and it was struggling. I tried hard to fight for it. I did better in work to be recognized and hopefully get promoted in September.
April 2011: Bryan came to Manila to celebrate his birthday. I surprised him by inviting some of my friends he knows. I also made a video montage of our his birthday plus our anniversary. We went to Tagaytay
May 2011: Family trip to Bohol, I really wished for this one and I know my mother too (even Papa). SO not minding that I was the one who spend for that vacation, it was indeed a memorable one and meaningful. It was with Mama, Ate Mayet, Kuya Philip, Yvonne and Hanz, Nepo and Cres Ann.
June 2011: It was focused on the service at SFC. We were busy preparing for the incoming CLP but the chpter has been through a lot since April. I've had a lot of disapointments and hurt but did not mind. The service is all for the glory of God.
July 2011: My heart has really been hurt by many aspects. Our relationship is like in a downward spiral. I went to Dagupan Cuty, Pangasinan for the SFC Metro Manila COnference themed Stronghold. It was like what I needed to make a decision.
August 2011: We broke up.I didn't really intend for it to be separating ways but he let go.I was broken hearted because I was not promoted too and too many other heart hurting incidents.
September: I tried keeping my hope, optimism that everything will be okay but those were hard times. I had so much bitterness.
October: Some housemates and Accenture batchmates, we went to CDO for Wilgen's wedding. I had white water rafting in Cagayan rivers and zipline in Bukidnon. One adventurous season of my life. Then we were stranded in Camiguin due to typhoon Ramon. It was indeed an unforgettable times. I went home for Mama's birthday too.
November: ANother heartbreak from so many heart aches. He did not even exerted effort to make way for us. We met at the last day of my Cebu trip and I thought there would be reconciliation but really we didnt talk about it. It hurts. It hurts.
December: So much of everything, I wished the year would just end happy for me but no. It was worst, Mama had attack on my birthday, celebrated Christmas in hospital and the person I thought would be there was not at all.
So here's my two cents of the new Year!
I'll move on. I'll grow. I'll appreciate more what and who I have. I'll smile. I'll still cry. I'll be stronger. I'll be wiser.
My New Year's thoughts after all:
Be humble.
Be honest.
Be healthy.
Be happy.
Be home.
xoxo
7.26.2011
Earthquake hits Manila (7/26/2011)
I was on shift (graveyard) when suddenly around 1:18 AM I felt the office is sharing. I am on the 32nd floor of one of the tall buildings in Ortigas. When the movement continued for few more seconds, I uttered to myself "earthquake" while other officemates were in commotion as well. The swaying really took about 60 - 90 seconds in my rough estimates and it was scary.
I was scared. It was the first time I experienced like that. The hanging wall clocks were swaying too and my head started to feel stange that after, I really felt dizzy. I was worried for my team mate too as just minute before the earthquake he went down to buy food. I was thinking what if he was stuck in the elevator.
Also, as one of the emergency marshals at work, I also have to remember my duties as such. I stood up and look for the other people in the office and started counting them. I waited for the guard to say if we are to evacuate but it didnt have to happen as 3 mins after the shaking, everything went back to normal and people went back to work including me.
When my teammate was back, I asked him where was he during the earthquake and surprisingly he didnt feel it at all. Thankfully, at least I wont have to worry him getting stucked on the elevator.
Next thing I did was to send message to my close friends to inform and as if they are safe. Good thing, everyone is fine. I did not text my family yet as I do not want them to worry. I research the net, try to check phivolcs site but it was down. Some people have already blog the event as well. Then, I stumble to the US Geo site http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/usc00053yd.php#details.
It was indeed a strong one. I just hope, there was no casualty.
Philvolcs have updated their site too: http://volcano.phivolcs.dost.gov.ph/update_SOEPD/2011_Earthquake_Bulletins/July/2011_0725_1715_B1.htm
I was scared. It was the first time I experienced like that. The hanging wall clocks were swaying too and my head started to feel stange that after, I really felt dizzy. I was worried for my team mate too as just minute before the earthquake he went down to buy food. I was thinking what if he was stuck in the elevator.
Also, as one of the emergency marshals at work, I also have to remember my duties as such. I stood up and look for the other people in the office and started counting them. I waited for the guard to say if we are to evacuate but it didnt have to happen as 3 mins after the shaking, everything went back to normal and people went back to work including me.
When my teammate was back, I asked him where was he during the earthquake and surprisingly he didnt feel it at all. Thankfully, at least I wont have to worry him getting stucked on the elevator.
Next thing I did was to send message to my close friends to inform and as if they are safe. Good thing, everyone is fine. I did not text my family yet as I do not want them to worry. I research the net, try to check phivolcs site but it was down. Some people have already blog the event as well. Then, I stumble to the US Geo site http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/usc00053yd.php#details.
It was indeed a strong one. I just hope, there was no casualty.
Philvolcs have updated their site too: http://volcano.phivolcs.dost.gov.ph/update_SOEPD/2011_Earthquake_Bulletins/July/2011_0725_1715_B1.htm
Unexpected
Unexpected (4/3/2010)
I do believe that life would give one so many surprises. Kinda the thought on "expect the unexpected". Life is amazingly surprising and unpredictable. Things will just happened and sometimes, they always do not go according to my plan or your plan.
Just few days ago, I recieved a text from an unknown number. The message was simply "hi" so I replied "helo" and ask "May I know who is this?". To my delight or I mean surprise, she was the current girlfriend of my ex way back 3rd year college. This ex of mine, we were ok, I mean we're friends or I thought so. Just last year he was saying about his feelings still for me but knew that I'm committed to somebody. He found it hard to move on, that's what he said. I even asked him, "would it help If I won't communicate with you?", to which he answered "No, he will do it himself when he is ready and still want our commnunication". Of course, he is a friend for me, a dear friend and I'd only wish, we would be friends still no matter what had happened to us in the past. I even shared to him just like a brother how my lovelife currently is on the verge of breaking down and how I'm hanging on to it struggling. Just like brother, friend.
I thought it was ok. But then, around Feb this year, I recieved a text message from his number though the message was from somebody else. The message was for me stop bothering them so I asked who was on the other side sending me message to which he replied, "don't mind the text, sorry for the disturbance". So I forgot about it. About a week after that incident, another text again, more harsh saying i am destroying their lives. I thought it was unfair for me because I am doing nothing. So I asked the guy again, if who was that texting me those stuffs. He just said "ignore it, don't mind". So I dropped my case but I felt being played by not a funny game.
Come March, another thext asking me to stop texting or communicating with the guy. I figured out it was something. Then I recieved a text from the guy asking me to stop texting him anymore. To which I replied, sure I wouldnt bother at all if it helps them and I would love to help them too. Like what I offered before just to help him move on. Case and Point. I already assume that the one texting me is a girlfriend of his wven without him telling me and I really have no intention to intrude into their relationship. What was for me, my relationship with the guy was just friendship after our break up years ago. Of course, I know the limitations of that friendship as I know we had a past and he still felt something for me as he said and I have a relationship.
Come 3rd week of March, I recieved a text from him. He was saying "wish you were here...". He was drinking and drunking as it sounded. So being a concerned person as I am, I replied and asked him what was wrong. He just replied, alcohol helped him momentarily to forget what he felt. So I asked him again, what is really wrong or did they broke up. I assumed from his not-straightforward-answer that it was what happened. I advised him that drinking himself to death does not lessen his problem or solve it. If they broke up, he could always try his best to do all he could do to resolve the issue. It is the obligation of the guy to at least give the effort in trying to solve issue in the relationship. Do the initiative. I said to him "how you won her before, you could use it again to win her back now". His response "I don't know what to do".
March 29 evening, I got a chance to open my facebook account. He popped up facebook chat message. Our felw lines.
H: Hello,
M: Hi,
H:Muzta? (how are you),
M: I'm ok, u?,
H: Fine, graveyard(pertaining to his duty schedule);
M: Good.
M: I mean good that you're fine. GTG (as I just hitched in my friends laptp and internet)
Surprisingly, the day after that I recieved that text I mentioned earlier. He mentioned her name, so I asked what could I do for her in the most friendly way I know. She replied "nothing, just want to thank you for giving him a piece of advice to win me back". She even added words like he really loves her because he did his best to win her back. I eagerly replied, "no problem, I'm glad to help people in love and I'm glad you're both ok now". I said thesewords because it was intention the first place and indeed I was happy that they were okay. I thought it was reconciliation for her and for me though there is really nothing for me but I am happy if that would give her peace of mind.
The next things or texts messages that followed were totally unexpected. I thought it was okay already when few moments later she texted again. So many words, basically her argument was that I am destroying their relationship whcih I really don't know how to answer, I'm innocent. I wanted to shout. At first, I was holding back my irritation on those crazy arguments she threw. I tried not to response even I really wanted but then, I've gone out of patience and replied to her insecurity issues.
When you're thrown a stone specially if you do not know where it was coming, when it hits you. It really hurts. That's I felt, I really don't know why am I causing her pain or her problems. I am innocent. So I defended myself. We exchange words but in my part I'm still trying my best to hold back emotions from her painful words. I know that she just was carried away by whatever emotions she felt. In the end, I felt tired of arguing, defending myself. It was actually pointless, she has a closed mind. All she has was anger, wrath and rage for me which I really was hurt. Why someone could hate me as such when Im doing nothing.
I realized, I shouldn't have responded to her arguments. I shouldn't have reciprocated her messages/insults/painful nothings. I just should have tried to understand whatever she moght be going through. But I am just human, I got hurt too. That was natural tendency to defend myself, any human would do. When are are being attacked. But then, all it got me was more insults, more harsh words and it hurts even more. I tried calm myself. I was i the office that time, so I have to focus too. From morning till afternoon, I continued recieving texts from her. I asked for God's wisdom in that moment and the guidance to respond to her. My last text for her that day was simply tothank her for the stones because at that time, those stones really made something for me. I never ever encountered that kind of situation in my life and somehow I survived it without crying as much as I would really like to.
That day was Good Monday, I attended a Lenten recollection that night and HE gave me the answer as to why something like that day happened to me. In preparation for my holiest week. The next day, going in peace to the office when all of a sudden around lunch time, she texted again.Much worst than yesterday, I felt opressed. Cursing words even. It's like I am a condemned criminal for her. It's really self-devastating but I remained calm, strong and understanding. With all the humility no matter how hard it was. I finally let out one last long text to her. It said there, I really wouldnt want to text or reply to her at all to avoid anymore arguments. The accumulations of pain on both sides while we continued to argue is just intolerable anymore. I kept thinking how to do it, be humble and ask for apology for a sin I know I didnt do. But I did. With all humility and kindness, I gave her forgiveness and I asked apology. She replied again, she didnt need my forgiveness. She hates me. That hurts.
I didnt reply anymore. I deleted their numbers. The connection and prayed they live in peace. Life gives us the unexpected, sometimes surprisingly great sometimes surprisingly troublesome. It's how we deal with it.
ROseHYAcinth
Just few days ago, I recieved a text from an unknown number. The message was simply "hi" so I replied "helo" and ask "May I know who is this?". To my delight or I mean surprise, she was the current girlfriend of my ex way back 3rd year college. This ex of mine, we were ok, I mean we're friends or I thought so. Just last year he was saying about his feelings still for me but knew that I'm committed to somebody. He found it hard to move on, that's what he said. I even asked him, "would it help If I won't communicate with you?", to which he answered "No, he will do it himself when he is ready and still want our commnunication". Of course, he is a friend for me, a dear friend and I'd only wish, we would be friends still no matter what had happened to us in the past. I even shared to him just like a brother how my lovelife currently is on the verge of breaking down and how I'm hanging on to it struggling. Just like brother, friend.
I thought it was ok. But then, around Feb this year, I recieved a text message from his number though the message was from somebody else. The message was for me stop bothering them so I asked who was on the other side sending me message to which he replied, "don't mind the text, sorry for the disturbance". So I forgot about it. About a week after that incident, another text again, more harsh saying i am destroying their lives. I thought it was unfair for me because I am doing nothing. So I asked the guy again, if who was that texting me those stuffs. He just said "ignore it, don't mind". So I dropped my case but I felt being played by not a funny game.
Come March, another thext asking me to stop texting or communicating with the guy. I figured out it was something. Then I recieved a text from the guy asking me to stop texting him anymore. To which I replied, sure I wouldnt bother at all if it helps them and I would love to help them too. Like what I offered before just to help him move on. Case and Point. I already assume that the one texting me is a girlfriend of his wven without him telling me and I really have no intention to intrude into their relationship. What was for me, my relationship with the guy was just friendship after our break up years ago. Of course, I know the limitations of that friendship as I know we had a past and he still felt something for me as he said and I have a relationship.
Come 3rd week of March, I recieved a text from him. He was saying "wish you were here...". He was drinking and drunking as it sounded. So being a concerned person as I am, I replied and asked him what was wrong. He just replied, alcohol helped him momentarily to forget what he felt. So I asked him again, what is really wrong or did they broke up. I assumed from his not-straightforward-answer that it was what happened. I advised him that drinking himself to death does not lessen his problem or solve it. If they broke up, he could always try his best to do all he could do to resolve the issue. It is the obligation of the guy to at least give the effort in trying to solve issue in the relationship. Do the initiative. I said to him "how you won her before, you could use it again to win her back now". His response "I don't know what to do".
March 29 evening, I got a chance to open my facebook account. He popped up facebook chat message. Our felw lines.
H: Hello,
M: Hi,
H:Muzta? (how are you),
M: I'm ok, u?,
H: Fine, graveyard(pertaining to his duty schedule);
M: Good.
M: I mean good that you're fine. GTG (as I just hitched in my friends laptp and internet)
Surprisingly, the day after that I recieved that text I mentioned earlier. He mentioned her name, so I asked what could I do for her in the most friendly way I know. She replied "nothing, just want to thank you for giving him a piece of advice to win me back". She even added words like he really loves her because he did his best to win her back. I eagerly replied, "no problem, I'm glad to help people in love and I'm glad you're both ok now". I said thesewords because it was intention the first place and indeed I was happy that they were okay. I thought it was reconciliation for her and for me though there is really nothing for me but I am happy if that would give her peace of mind.
The next things or texts messages that followed were totally unexpected. I thought it was okay already when few moments later she texted again. So many words, basically her argument was that I am destroying their relationship whcih I really don't know how to answer, I'm innocent. I wanted to shout. At first, I was holding back my irritation on those crazy arguments she threw. I tried not to response even I really wanted but then, I've gone out of patience and replied to her insecurity issues.
When you're thrown a stone specially if you do not know where it was coming, when it hits you. It really hurts. That's I felt, I really don't know why am I causing her pain or her problems. I am innocent. So I defended myself. We exchange words but in my part I'm still trying my best to hold back emotions from her painful words. I know that she just was carried away by whatever emotions she felt. In the end, I felt tired of arguing, defending myself. It was actually pointless, she has a closed mind. All she has was anger, wrath and rage for me which I really was hurt. Why someone could hate me as such when Im doing nothing.
I realized, I shouldn't have responded to her arguments. I shouldn't have reciprocated her messages/insults/painful nothings. I just should have tried to understand whatever she moght be going through. But I am just human, I got hurt too. That was natural tendency to defend myself, any human would do. When are are being attacked. But then, all it got me was more insults, more harsh words and it hurts even more. I tried calm myself. I was i the office that time, so I have to focus too. From morning till afternoon, I continued recieving texts from her. I asked for God's wisdom in that moment and the guidance to respond to her. My last text for her that day was simply tothank her for the stones because at that time, those stones really made something for me. I never ever encountered that kind of situation in my life and somehow I survived it without crying as much as I would really like to.
That day was Good Monday, I attended a Lenten recollection that night and HE gave me the answer as to why something like that day happened to me. In preparation for my holiest week. The next day, going in peace to the office when all of a sudden around lunch time, she texted again.Much worst than yesterday, I felt opressed. Cursing words even. It's like I am a condemned criminal for her. It's really self-devastating but I remained calm, strong and understanding. With all the humility no matter how hard it was. I finally let out one last long text to her. It said there, I really wouldnt want to text or reply to her at all to avoid anymore arguments. The accumulations of pain on both sides while we continued to argue is just intolerable anymore. I kept thinking how to do it, be humble and ask for apology for a sin I know I didnt do. But I did. With all humility and kindness, I gave her forgiveness and I asked apology. She replied again, she didnt need my forgiveness. She hates me. That hurts.
I didnt reply anymore. I deleted their numbers. The connection and prayed they live in peace. Life gives us the unexpected, sometimes surprisingly great sometimes surprisingly troublesome. It's how we deal with it.
ROseHYAcinth
Reposting: Solar Halo in Cebu
Solar Halo in Cebu: When I Reached Home
May 7, 2010 around 12 noon, a friend texted me about a rainbow around the sun. I was able to read his message but I was very pre occupied as it was also the time that I reached our home in Borbon after almost five months. So I was really busy playing mith nephews and nieces and neglected the text though I read it but it did not sink in me.
I graduated Applied Physics and though I am not really a great physicist, I do love astronomy and the beauty of it. So when the thought finally sank in during the evening, I realized "what The!" I missed that scene. Yeah, I missed that BIG TIME. As In. Well, I guess I just have to move on and forget it. What happened happens. :)
So, I did some research on the said event, solar halo. It is said to be an optical phenomenon produced by ice crystals creating colored or white arcs and spots in the sky. This is due to light being reflected and refracted by the ice crystals and may split up into colors because of dispersion. The crystals behave like prisms and mirrors sending shafts of light in particular directions. Well, I'll not go on this post discussing about optics. That was basically it.
Being a scientist, I believe that was simply a scientific phenomenon and nothing more but as an optimistic individual plus a devout Christian I can't resist to believe that it was a vindication from above for the first automated election of our country, the Philippines that happened 3 days after the appearance of Solar halo and I'm convinced because although the election really was not at all smooth but overall I can say it was successful, peaceful and hopefully, this is the start of a BETTER Philippines. I may sound like some super optimistic citizen but really there's no harm in trying. I believe the solar halo was something good.
xoxo
ROseHYAcinth
I graduated Applied Physics and though I am not really a great physicist, I do love astronomy and the beauty of it. So when the thought finally sank in during the evening, I realized "what The!" I missed that scene. Yeah, I missed that BIG TIME. As In. Well, I guess I just have to move on and forget it. What happened happens. :)
So, I did some research on the said event, solar halo. It is said to be an optical phenomenon produced by ice crystals creating colored or white arcs and spots in the sky. This is due to light being reflected and refracted by the ice crystals and may split up into colors because of dispersion. The crystals behave like prisms and mirrors sending shafts of light in particular directions. Well, I'll not go on this post discussing about optics. That was basically it.
Being a scientist, I believe that was simply a scientific phenomenon and nothing more but as an optimistic individual plus a devout Christian I can't resist to believe that it was a vindication from above for the first automated election of our country, the Philippines that happened 3 days after the appearance of Solar halo and I'm convinced because although the election really was not at all smooth but overall I can say it was successful, peaceful and hopefully, this is the start of a BETTER Philippines. I may sound like some super optimistic citizen but really there's no harm in trying. I believe the solar halo was something good.
xoxo
ROseHYAcinth
Moonstar
MOONSTAR -: 05/16/2010
7:10 PM Manila time.
Was preparing myself, hurrying for mass @ San Roque Parish and bound for office afterward when Mama sent me a message asking me if I could see the moon. So I went to the kitchen window and searched for the moon, wooolaaahhh, what I found in the western evening sky was such a beautiful sight. Never saw it before. It was...
LOVELY. SUBLIME.
It made me wish I had my long-before-dream single lens reflector camera to capture it. SIGHS
It was a bright star sitting on the very tip top of the thin crescent moon but the circular edge of the moon was visible too making the sight so spectacular on that early Sunday evening. I researched about it and it was not a star but actually planet Venus and the Moon very close together. If one would picture it out, it was like a ring with a shining stone. Okay, for the sake of this post, it was like a diamond ring. Some kinda "marry-me" ring. Thanks Ma, for texting me on time to share such a beautiful scene to behold.(HUGE GRIN)
I browsed and read through a lot of things on the net regarding this event as I was interested since my recent blog was about the appearance of solar halo in homeland Cebu last week and now this phenomena I personally call MOONSTAR and all over the country this time. I came across with the astronomical term occultation. Wiki defines occultation as an event that occurs when one object is hidden by another object that passes between it and the observer. There could be occultation by the moon, by planets or by asteroids.This case was By the MOON, I think. :D
It is said be not unusual for the moon to appear to pass close to Venus because this actually happens almost once a month. However, today was the longest time it was visible (I think) because in the past events, this is only visible short period after sunset (@twilight zone) and shortly before dawn according to research. So still, that sight is once in a blue moon for me. That crescent moon with a fully defined full-moon-edge passing by the planet Venus was just like a shining stone on a ring, and I can't get that picture out of my memory anymore. The fully define full-moon-edge is because the moon is becoming full each day.
Now, people would always ask for meaning. Some commented it was a bad sign, a sign of WAR, chaos and troubles. Some wished it was a positive sign that the Filipino people should be united and start over again after the long awaited first automated election. My opinion as a physicist and as a citizen is that astronomical phenomenon like this do happens and Science really could explain it but to hope that this event is a sign of a better Philippines isn't bad if that would help us to become better citizens and a country worth living for. Hoping is never bad. It depends on how we see things right? So let's have that positive outlook for a brighter tomorrow.
As a BELIEVER of the ONE who allow the beautiful sight to be seen and I would like to repeat about that "marry-me" diamond ring metaphor of that I so called MOONSTAR, He was asking us people to marry HIM. Of course, not the literal marry but HE is asking us to go back to HIM and believe that the Philippines could be BETTER because with HIM, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. :)
x.o.x.o
ROseHYAcinth
Was preparing myself, hurrying for mass @ San Roque Parish and bound for office afterward when Mama sent me a message asking me if I could see the moon. So I went to the kitchen window and searched for the moon, wooolaaahhh, what I found in the western evening sky was such a beautiful sight. Never saw it before. It was...
LOVELY. SUBLIME.
It made me wish I had my long-before-dream single lens reflector camera to capture it. SIGHS
It was a bright star sitting on the very tip top of the thin crescent moon but the circular edge of the moon was visible too making the sight so spectacular on that early Sunday evening. I researched about it and it was not a star but actually planet Venus and the Moon very close together. If one would picture it out, it was like a ring with a shining stone. Okay, for the sake of this post, it was like a diamond ring. Some kinda "marry-me" ring. Thanks Ma, for texting me on time to share such a beautiful scene to behold.(HUGE GRIN)
I browsed and read through a lot of things on the net regarding this event as I was interested since my recent blog was about the appearance of solar halo in homeland Cebu last week and now this phenomena I personally call MOONSTAR and all over the country this time. I came across with the astronomical term occultation. Wiki defines occultation as an event that occurs when one object is hidden by another object that passes between it and the observer. There could be occultation by the moon, by planets or by asteroids.This case was By the MOON, I think. :D
It is said be not unusual for the moon to appear to pass close to Venus because this actually happens almost once a month. However, today was the longest time it was visible (I think) because in the past events, this is only visible short period after sunset (@twilight zone) and shortly before dawn according to research. So still, that sight is once in a blue moon for me. That crescent moon with a fully defined full-moon-edge passing by the planet Venus was just like a shining stone on a ring, and I can't get that picture out of my memory anymore. The fully define full-moon-edge is because the moon is becoming full each day.
Now, people would always ask for meaning. Some commented it was a bad sign, a sign of WAR, chaos and troubles. Some wished it was a positive sign that the Filipino people should be united and start over again after the long awaited first automated election. My opinion as a physicist and as a citizen is that astronomical phenomenon like this do happens and Science really could explain it but to hope that this event is a sign of a better Philippines isn't bad if that would help us to become better citizens and a country worth living for. Hoping is never bad. It depends on how we see things right? So let's have that positive outlook for a brighter tomorrow.
As a BELIEVER of the ONE who allow the beautiful sight to be seen and I would like to repeat about that "marry-me" diamond ring metaphor of that I so called MOONSTAR, He was asking us people to marry HIM. Of course, not the literal marry but HE is asking us to go back to HIM and believe that the Philippines could be BETTER because with HIM, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. :)
x.o.x.o
ROseHYAcinth
5.22.2011
How many lives will you change this year?
"Do you where you're going to?" - This is a line of famous song that I usually sing when I feel no where to go, when I feel stopped at something I want or I thought I should do.
Often times, life gets empty - that is like when you're playing Chess and You are CHECKMATE. When there are no more moves left. Then began the question 'WHY I am here?'. What is the purpose of my being? When life seems to get tougher and confusing.
I've really been there and at times still there and probably will be back there. However, optimistic as I am, I always find reason, a point, a step that could perhaps lead me to go on. And always, it's because, I know, many people need me, my family and probably some other people.
At the beginning of 2010, I felt the loneliest days of my life.I was alone, and I was trying to fight from all the sadness, emptiness, longingness Im feeling deep inside. Indeed, the whole 2010 was a big bunch of trials of my life. Maybe because I'm old enough to handle many things or because it's part of growth.
Now. It's mid 2011, not that lonely or sad anymore. I seem to find the reason to move on or to be strong or to look forward. The fact that a single smile from me could change somebody else's life. The hope that, by being strong I'll be abe to inspire the weak. The believe that I, as simple and ordinary as I am, could make a difference. I want to touch lives, to give hope, to bring light.
How about you? How many lives will you change this year? Is it for the better? How about in your lifetime, how many people will you touch?
x.o.x.o RoseHyacinth
Often times, life gets empty - that is like when you're playing Chess and You are CHECKMATE. When there are no more moves left. Then began the question 'WHY I am here?'. What is the purpose of my being? When life seems to get tougher and confusing.
I've really been there and at times still there and probably will be back there. However, optimistic as I am, I always find reason, a point, a step that could perhaps lead me to go on. And always, it's because, I know, many people need me, my family and probably some other people.
At the beginning of 2010, I felt the loneliest days of my life.I was alone, and I was trying to fight from all the sadness, emptiness, longingness Im feeling deep inside. Indeed, the whole 2010 was a big bunch of trials of my life. Maybe because I'm old enough to handle many things or because it's part of growth.
Now. It's mid 2011, not that lonely or sad anymore. I seem to find the reason to move on or to be strong or to look forward. The fact that a single smile from me could change somebody else's life. The hope that, by being strong I'll be abe to inspire the weak. The believe that I, as simple and ordinary as I am, could make a difference. I want to touch lives, to give hope, to bring light.
How about you? How many lives will you change this year? Is it for the better? How about in your lifetime, how many people will you touch?
x.o.x.o RoseHyacinth
2.08.2011
good.Better.BEST
VERY GOOD! I
remember when I was a toddler, every time i receive this praise phrase i
was very very happy. Being good is a nice feeling and the addition of
VERY makes the adjective good, way more pleasing. Then I found out that
there is better. That better is way way more than just good. And it
didn't end there, you are still not on top if you are just better and
not the best.
Good.Better.Best
never let it rest
until the good becomes better
and better becomes the BEST.
I
am afraid to be called the bad one. All my life, I tried to be a good
person, a good daughter, a good friend, a good sister, a good neighbor, a
good student. I always strive to be good and I mean not just good but
the best in everything I do, in everywhere I am. But life never failed
to teach me that I could not please everyone. That no matter what, life
will always have two faces, because after all, nobody is PERFECT.
So
I began asking myself, Is it really worth it being good when I know
that there would always be people who will think I'm bad? Yeah, and
sometimes I do belong to that. Admittedly, sometimes or perhaps more
often, people tend to be judgmental and I am included in that list of
people. There was a point when I always compare myself to other people,
to those around me and I end up, always I end up finding flaws in other
people and lifting up my own chair just to boost me, to cover the
bitterness perhaps.
Growing
up is never easy. Never easy. But fortunately, I have or I believe,
life has taught me golden lessons. First, never compare myself with
other. My greatest competition is myself. As the words of desiderata
said "there would always be a greater and a lesser person than I am. I
am humbled seeing people on the street, homeless and pennyless because I
know somehow even if I consider myself poor, I still have house to
live. Whenever I see rich people, I shouldn't envy recalling those
people in the street, I still feel fortunate. At times, I will feel big
and at times I will feel small. Be good in myself, be better than myself
and be the best I can be. That the greatest thing is to remain humble in prosperity and keeping one's feet on the ground.
Second,
I do not have the right to judge others. It's a shame. When you judged
as much as you don't want to be judged. At this point in my life, I
figure out that each person I met or even I walked pass by have
different stories, unique in every way. When I thought that my life
story is great, I should never forget that other people think their life
stories too are great. Each one of us have different threshold of
happiness, pain, joy, sorrows, success and failure. I learned that
before I get irritated with the woman who stepped on my foot in the MRT,
I should consider that perhaps she is in a hurry due to a life and
death situation. That at any point in time, I could be the one who
stepped on someone's foot too. I learned a lot. I grew a lot. And I say,
the golden rule "do not do unto others what you do not want others do
unto you" is really applicable in life if we just...
Third, never complain. Simply never complain instead count my blessings.
Yeah, the tendency is at the hardest times in our lives, we always ask
"Why me?". But I discovered that I have been more than blessed to
complain at the few times I was down. It's a shame again. So now, before
my mind cry out loud complains at tough times, Im diverting it to
those times I feel surreal, those times I feel very blessed. I did not
complain when my father died during my last year in college even when I
know that was his very dream to see his precious child with a college
diploma, yes I was sad and asking but I never complained because I
wouldnt have been in that 5th year of college if I wasnt blessed with
scholarship, with generous people. Never complain, instead I counted my
blessings.
Fourth,
everything has to serve a purpose. Just as pigs are raised just to have
pork meat to eat. I recalled when I was 5 or 6, I cried when our hog
was slaughtered for the fiesta and remembered asking my grandfather "why
do we have to feed them when in the end we'd kill them" to which he
smilingly replied "that served its purpose". Yes, everything has a
purpose and everything that happened or is happening got to serve a
purpose. It could be the purpose of what has been done before or there
could be something more in that.All I believe is that in all I've been
going through in the 23 years of my existence has its own purpose. The
same as John 3:16, for God so love the world that He gave us His only
son. Why would HE give His only begotten son? For us, because He loves
us.
Fifth,
I cannot please everyone. So why do I go on being good knowing I could
not please everyone? Simply because I only want to please SOMEONE. That
someone who makes me someone too. The back end of my existence. I am
SOMEone because of this SOMEONE and it's HIM I want to please so I keep
doing GOOD, strive to be BETTER than who I am and hoping to be the BEST
that I can be. IN HIS TIME not mine. IN HIS WAYS not mine.
I didn't not say lastly because, life still goes on, yeah, for me because I LIVE.
x.o.x.o
Note: Transferred from sfrohya blog.
x.o.x.o
Note: Transferred from sfrohya blog.
9.25.2010
barely there
While I was on my way the office one night being on a graveyard shift, I took my usual route that is - the MRT. Since it is gender segregated, I always go the ladies area where the first car of the train is. I noticed, while passing by the guys area, that there are plenty of people waiting for the train to come. Well, primarily due to rush hour.
I usually position myself such that I always in that last door of the first car of the train. Approching the girls are, I saw a line of women. Then, I deduced, they formed this line to take turns in riding the train. Awkwardly, that was the only line. The other locations have no line. Thrilled by the thought of this disciplined act. I joined the line.
It took time before a train came in. People are staring at the line which was getting longer. I was ashamed at first on what people will say on us piling up in that UNUSUAL line but my righteous mind won. That was the right thing to do to show equality and fairness. Observing the flow of people while I'm waiting for my turn to ride the train, some woman opt to go to the other areas while some opted to join the line like me.
I just felt that, if only there is that one brave soul that would initiate, definitely someone would follow. I believe, the Filipinos always have wanted the change in our attitudes and practices. What I saw was an orderly system in taking turns to ride the train by forming a line. Isn't it amazing?
xoxo
ROseHYAcinth
I usually position myself such that I always in that last door of the first car of the train. Approching the girls are, I saw a line of women. Then, I deduced, they formed this line to take turns in riding the train. Awkwardly, that was the only line. The other locations have no line. Thrilled by the thought of this disciplined act. I joined the line.
It took time before a train came in. People are staring at the line which was getting longer. I was ashamed at first on what people will say on us piling up in that UNUSUAL line but my righteous mind won. That was the right thing to do to show equality and fairness. Observing the flow of people while I'm waiting for my turn to ride the train, some woman opt to go to the other areas while some opted to join the line like me.
I just felt that, if only there is that one brave soul that would initiate, definitely someone would follow. I believe, the Filipinos always have wanted the change in our attitudes and practices. What I saw was an orderly system in taking turns to ride the train by forming a line. Isn't it amazing?
xoxo
ROseHYAcinth
8.25.2010
Inspiration of my Youth
These are stories where I picked values, inspiration, motivation to
be what I am now. I'm grateful to the authors, because of these words I
can say I am the better person now than who I was before.
Prayers Can't Be Answered Unless They Are Prayed
BY: Author Unknown
Life without purpose is barren indeed
Life without purpose is barren indeed
There can't be a harvest unless you plant seed
There can't be attainment unless there's a goal
And man's but a robot unless there's a soul
If we send no ships out, no ships will come in
And unless there's a contest, nobody can't win
For games can't be won unless they are played
And prayers can't be answered unless they are prayed
So whatever is wrong with your life today
You'll find a solution if you kneel down and pray
Not just for pleasure, enjoyment and health
Not just for honors and prestige and wealth
But pray for a purpose to make life worth giving
And pray for the joy of unselfish giving
For great is your gladness and rich your reward
When you make your life's purpose the choice of the Lord.
**************************************************************
DESIDERATA
-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Sadly: ONE Historic Tragedy
August 23, 2010 - Monday.
Who would have thought the day would end up with a tragedy, a very sad, globally witnessed tragedy? Nobody.
Waking up late due to the fact that I'm off shift that day and was up late the other night enjoying the despedida game we held for a friend who's coming back to our home city. I was just awaken by the phone rings as one of my elder sister called for some chit chat. I told myself to sleep right after the phone call but we had visitor so I had not gone back to bed.
I was busy taking some photos from our visitor's DSLR when a breaking news on a hostage taking in Quirino grandstand, Manila was reported. At first, the thought did not sink in. Around 1 pm when our visitor had left and I was left alone in our unit as all other housemates had left for work already. I busied myself reading as I felt lazy to go out and go to relatives in Marikina to pay a visit. It was around 5 pm when I finally got up and do things I was supposed to be doing earlier. A housemate is already at home watching a movie.
As the darkness covered the sky, I was debating with myself if I should still go to Marikina or postponed it the next day. It took me a while to decide to stay home and do my laundry right then. I was about to prepare dinner when my housemate had tune in the television to a channel with the news on the hostage taking. I calmly grab a chair and sit to watch, albeit shocked on the news I was watching. I commented "Isn't that over yet?". I was talking about the hostage taking crisis where a certain dismissed Sr. Superintendent hijacked a tourist bus with Chinese Nationals as hostages. The situation had been more than 9 hours already.
We were watching the live feed of a televesion network and we saw the escape of the bus driver from the hijacked bus. The driver was shouting "All people inside the bus are dead". This was maybe perhaps due to the traumatic experience he had. He was actually handcupped or tied to the steering wheel and we were wondering how he escaped that. We saw the live feed gun shots, the taker did from the inside to the wind shield. We saw how the police and swat assault team actioned the situations. It was for me, heart breaking to see such crisis standing still for so long.
The ending was that taker was killed when he started firing after a tear gas was thrown by police inside the bus. After 11 hours of crisis, the taker was killed with victims retrieve from the inside of the bus. Contrary to the statement of the bus driver, some hostages are still alive but sadly, there were dead (8 confirmed as of this wirting). The Hongkong government had black listed the Philippines in their travel advisory.
I agree with what some psychiatrists were saying that hostage takers have suicidal tendency for I think they won't have the guts to take hostages and expect themselves to have better lives. On the other hand, in my opinion, the hostage taker was really at first no intention on killing someday as it was shown that earlier that day he was releasing hostages (old man, mother with kids and the pinoy photographer). He even ordered for food for the hostages. I thought, it could have turned out peacefully with negotiations.
What I saw was the trigger of his rant and rage that lead him to kill some hostages was the incident between the police and his brother (who is a policeman too) or say, his brother's wrong moves and some notable mistakes of the handling of the crisis. First, was when he delivered the letter from Ombudsman (the demand of the hostage taker) to the bus where the hostage crisis is held, he was shouting, telling his brother not to sign anything unless his gun (the brother's gun which was confiscated as he is not on duty) is returned to him. The second and the one I think which finally provoked the taker was when police officers asked the brother to come with them to the headquearters for interrogation. Instead of calmly going with them, he acted like child causing commotion and other family members were like crazy in the scene too. I really saw it as obstruction of justice. They could have just coordinated well, calmy and peacefully so as not to worsen the scene.
Third, was the seemingly eager-to-get-exclusive-shots media personnels who were all over the vicinity of the crime scene. Yes, i believe, it is there obligation to reach to the masses what is going on but with sensitive, dangerous and delicate cases like the hostage taking, in my opinion, they could have implemented what a responsible journalism must did. In providing live footages and update to what was happening, no doubt the taker could have the technology to watch it that made him more angry perhaps. And lastly, the lousy system of the police, it was uncoordinated, uncertain. It was an unsystematic assault with bloopers like the axe getting inside the bus and police getting it back, or the time when the emergency door was open and policemen get inside the bus when the hostage taker fire a shot, they immediately got down, or just the simply not wearing of proper vest and hat during assault or the not wearing of mask during retieval knowing a tear gas was thrown. Please, I understand we aren't perfect but we could have done better.
I reckon any blame or thoughts of blame I have. No one is to blame but I'm hoping everyone would get the lessons and learnings the tragedy had brought in that way those lives are not wasted in wain.
Who would have thought the day would end up with a tragedy, a very sad, globally witnessed tragedy? Nobody.
Waking up late due to the fact that I'm off shift that day and was up late the other night enjoying the despedida game we held for a friend who's coming back to our home city. I was just awaken by the phone rings as one of my elder sister called for some chit chat. I told myself to sleep right after the phone call but we had visitor so I had not gone back to bed.
I was busy taking some photos from our visitor's DSLR when a breaking news on a hostage taking in Quirino grandstand, Manila was reported. At first, the thought did not sink in. Around 1 pm when our visitor had left and I was left alone in our unit as all other housemates had left for work already. I busied myself reading as I felt lazy to go out and go to relatives in Marikina to pay a visit. It was around 5 pm when I finally got up and do things I was supposed to be doing earlier. A housemate is already at home watching a movie.
As the darkness covered the sky, I was debating with myself if I should still go to Marikina or postponed it the next day. It took me a while to decide to stay home and do my laundry right then. I was about to prepare dinner when my housemate had tune in the television to a channel with the news on the hostage taking. I calmly grab a chair and sit to watch, albeit shocked on the news I was watching. I commented "Isn't that over yet?". I was talking about the hostage taking crisis where a certain dismissed Sr. Superintendent hijacked a tourist bus with Chinese Nationals as hostages. The situation had been more than 9 hours already.
We were watching the live feed of a televesion network and we saw the escape of the bus driver from the hijacked bus. The driver was shouting "All people inside the bus are dead". This was maybe perhaps due to the traumatic experience he had. He was actually handcupped or tied to the steering wheel and we were wondering how he escaped that. We saw the live feed gun shots, the taker did from the inside to the wind shield. We saw how the police and swat assault team actioned the situations. It was for me, heart breaking to see such crisis standing still for so long.
The ending was that taker was killed when he started firing after a tear gas was thrown by police inside the bus. After 11 hours of crisis, the taker was killed with victims retrieve from the inside of the bus. Contrary to the statement of the bus driver, some hostages are still alive but sadly, there were dead (8 confirmed as of this wirting). The Hongkong government had black listed the Philippines in their travel advisory.
I agree with what some psychiatrists were saying that hostage takers have suicidal tendency for I think they won't have the guts to take hostages and expect themselves to have better lives. On the other hand, in my opinion, the hostage taker was really at first no intention on killing someday as it was shown that earlier that day he was releasing hostages (old man, mother with kids and the pinoy photographer). He even ordered for food for the hostages. I thought, it could have turned out peacefully with negotiations.
What I saw was the trigger of his rant and rage that lead him to kill some hostages was the incident between the police and his brother (who is a policeman too) or say, his brother's wrong moves and some notable mistakes of the handling of the crisis. First, was when he delivered the letter from Ombudsman (the demand of the hostage taker) to the bus where the hostage crisis is held, he was shouting, telling his brother not to sign anything unless his gun (the brother's gun which was confiscated as he is not on duty) is returned to him. The second and the one I think which finally provoked the taker was when police officers asked the brother to come with them to the headquearters for interrogation. Instead of calmly going with them, he acted like child causing commotion and other family members were like crazy in the scene too. I really saw it as obstruction of justice. They could have just coordinated well, calmy and peacefully so as not to worsen the scene.
Third, was the seemingly eager-to-get-exclusive-shots media personnels who were all over the vicinity of the crime scene. Yes, i believe, it is there obligation to reach to the masses what is going on but with sensitive, dangerous and delicate cases like the hostage taking, in my opinion, they could have implemented what a responsible journalism must did. In providing live footages and update to what was happening, no doubt the taker could have the technology to watch it that made him more angry perhaps. And lastly, the lousy system of the police, it was uncoordinated, uncertain. It was an unsystematic assault with bloopers like the axe getting inside the bus and police getting it back, or the time when the emergency door was open and policemen get inside the bus when the hostage taker fire a shot, they immediately got down, or just the simply not wearing of proper vest and hat during assault or the not wearing of mask during retieval knowing a tear gas was thrown. Please, I understand we aren't perfect but we could have done better.
I reckon any blame or thoughts of blame I have. No one is to blame but I'm hoping everyone would get the lessons and learnings the tragedy had brought in that way those lives are not wasted in wain.
6.28.2010
Rubik's Cube
Finally...
I got the patience to literally try once and for all conquering and I MEAN first time conquering the infamous Rubik's cube.
I know Rubik's cube long time ago but I never had any inch of interest in solving or trying it not until recently. Honestly, I never tried before or got interested because I had this wrong notion that the Rubik's cubes are for retarted people. Yes, I was wrong or else I am called RETARDED now. But truthfully, maybe I really had not tried it because I was not that patient enough. Patience is a virtue that is hard to acquire.
So, for the longest time, it was just this June that I made up my mind to try it once and for (ALL?) me. (laughs). June 6, 2010; I bought not the original cube yet but one that cost me 20 pesos only at Vente. I started studying it the next day June 7. June 8 was my day off so I was determined to solve it first time and gladly I did. Congratulations to me!.
Now, I'm studying the cube when I have time. I'm trying to deduce my own style in solving it and hopefully my own style could help others who want to test their patience skill. I am very happy I tried it, now I'm trying to master it but truth of the matter is, I'm still really far from being a real cubist nor a master.
For now, I accept my being an amateur cubist, beginner and the likes but I am determined to master this and I will.
Patience is a virtue. Again and again.
x.o.x.o
ROseHYAcinth
I got the patience to literally try once and for all conquering and I MEAN first time conquering the infamous Rubik's cube.
I know Rubik's cube long time ago but I never had any inch of interest in solving or trying it not until recently. Honestly, I never tried before or got interested because I had this wrong notion that the Rubik's cubes are for retarted people. Yes, I was wrong or else I am called RETARDED now. But truthfully, maybe I really had not tried it because I was not that patient enough. Patience is a virtue that is hard to acquire.
So, for the longest time, it was just this June that I made up my mind to try it once and for (ALL?) me. (laughs). June 6, 2010; I bought not the original cube yet but one that cost me 20 pesos only at Vente. I started studying it the next day June 7. June 8 was my day off so I was determined to solve it first time and gladly I did. Congratulations to me!.
Now, I'm studying the cube when I have time. I'm trying to deduce my own style in solving it and hopefully my own style could help others who want to test their patience skill. I am very happy I tried it, now I'm trying to master it but truth of the matter is, I'm still really far from being a real cubist nor a master.
For now, I accept my being an amateur cubist, beginner and the likes but I am determined to master this and I will.
Patience is a virtue. Again and again.
x.o.x.o
ROseHYAcinth
5.14.2010
Just Some Flash of Thought: Welcome to SoGod
I was in the bus travelling to hometown for some visit and short
weekend vacation. One town away from ours, some flash of thought came
through me. The subject is about to signage of the town "Welcome to
Sogod" in front of the municipal hall. Then I just remembered some
interesting memory of that signage.
It is accustomed during yuletide season to put some lights anywhere that suits. One time before, they decorated the signage with light in such a way that even at night, one would still be able to read the sign 'WELCOME TO SOGOD'. By the way, the signage is on the grass, actually it was made of grasses forming the sign. The Christmas season had passed yet still due to long gotten tradition to continue the spirit of Christmas even until February.
I passed by the place one evening while travelling on a bus going home way back college, went to look outside the window and to my amazement. The signage "WELCOME TO SOGOD" was not at all well lighted or probably lights got busted that instead of that sign, the message visible to me was "COME TO GOD". I didn't know if it was intended but really it STRUCK me.
Now, the grasses are dying due to the intense heat that the signage is not at all recognizable. But I'm hoping, somebody else got that message too.
xoxo
ROseHYAcinth
It is accustomed during yuletide season to put some lights anywhere that suits. One time before, they decorated the signage with light in such a way that even at night, one would still be able to read the sign 'WELCOME TO SOGOD'. By the way, the signage is on the grass, actually it was made of grasses forming the sign. The Christmas season had passed yet still due to long gotten tradition to continue the spirit of Christmas even until February.
I passed by the place one evening while travelling on a bus going home way back college, went to look outside the window and to my amazement. The signage "WELCOME TO SOGOD" was not at all well lighted or probably lights got busted that instead of that sign, the message visible to me was "COME TO GOD". I didn't know if it was intended but really it STRUCK me.
Now, the grasses are dying due to the intense heat that the signage is not at all recognizable. But I'm hoping, somebody else got that message too.
xoxo
ROseHYAcinth
4.26.2010
I have a FEVER!
Though honestly, I felt like I'm going to be sick today or anytime soon as I'm really not feeling well, this post ain't about that. The FEVER I said in the title means a Passion, Desire. Something burning in me.
If you might have read some posts in my other blog (half brain dead) you would recall how my year started. It was lonely. I felt LOST. I was praying to God, give me something to keep me going. Something I'll treasure, I'll get busy myself, I'll excel. There is something I want to do. Actually, there are many things I want to do. But that something I'm praying, is something I could do best with no pressure.
I am a frustrated writer, though I'm trying my very best through this blogs but really I wanted more to the point where I pressured myself. That aint good. So I stop exploring that part, hopefully it will be uncovered again in the future. I am a frustrated photographer. I dont have the resources to support that for now. There are things worth more priority than that. I have bought a simple digital camera when I was in 5th year college from my allowances. Simple point and shoot. But I left it home for my family's use. For now, let's freeze that.
I was asking God to give me something to divert my attention in all those frustrations, not just the one I mentioned. But all the toughness life brings. I needed something for I felt no one and nobody. During Christmas season, I thought I would start my being a cubist (Rubik's cube). I haven't solve one so I'm planning to master it. But unfortunately, with all my wish lists containing Rubik's cube, no one gave me even a fake one. So the first month of the year, I was talking to God what is that I need to do. Make me go. Keep me going. He gave me the FEVER for RUNNING.
Why do I run? For a cause, for fun, for health, for wellness, for fitness and for a change. This is what keeps me going. For now, I do not know when the fever will stop but I'll enjoy it for now. This makes me happy. Sorta kinda like a God's gift. I run for life.
x.o.x.o
ROseHYAcinth
If you might have read some posts in my other blog (half brain dead) you would recall how my year started. It was lonely. I felt LOST. I was praying to God, give me something to keep me going. Something I'll treasure, I'll get busy myself, I'll excel. There is something I want to do. Actually, there are many things I want to do. But that something I'm praying, is something I could do best with no pressure.
I am a frustrated writer, though I'm trying my very best through this blogs but really I wanted more to the point where I pressured myself. That aint good. So I stop exploring that part, hopefully it will be uncovered again in the future. I am a frustrated photographer. I dont have the resources to support that for now. There are things worth more priority than that. I have bought a simple digital camera when I was in 5th year college from my allowances. Simple point and shoot. But I left it home for my family's use. For now, let's freeze that.
I was asking God to give me something to divert my attention in all those frustrations, not just the one I mentioned. But all the toughness life brings. I needed something for I felt no one and nobody. During Christmas season, I thought I would start my being a cubist (Rubik's cube). I haven't solve one so I'm planning to master it. But unfortunately, with all my wish lists containing Rubik's cube, no one gave me even a fake one. So the first month of the year, I was talking to God what is that I need to do. Make me go. Keep me going. He gave me the FEVER for RUNNING.
Why do I run? For a cause, for fun, for health, for wellness, for fitness and for a change. This is what keeps me going. For now, I do not know when the fever will stop but I'll enjoy it for now. This makes me happy. Sorta kinda like a God's gift. I run for life.
x.o.x.o
ROseHYAcinth
4.07.2010
For the Love of Independence
Freedom, democracy, independence. I think they almost mean the same. But this blog is not about a political propaganda nor a diplomatic speech or the likes. One thing for sure, this isnt about EDSA or anything like that. (lol) Actually this post is about people or specifically young ones or more specifically daughters.
First, why I came up with this topic? Simple. It is in. It is reality. It is what I saw, heard and observed. So let's start this post with this question. Do you hate your parents? I'll leave it to you. Well, ask and answer that to yourself.
The other day, my 15-year old cousin, after their fight with her older brother, ran away from home. I find it very amusing for her to bravely go her own way. According to her brothers and mother, they were used to that kind of stuffs she did. She had done it a lot of times before. I deduced from what I picked up there that probably she just dont want to be overly guarded by all her brothers being the only girl and the youngest in the family. Maybe, she find it very irritating that all eyes are always on her and that everytime, she is wrong. I tried to emphatized on her part but on the other hand, the family just want her welfare and that's the part whe she is blided. I was hurt hearing her answer her mother like she isnt her mother and to ran away from home in the middle of the night? I would not do that.
Sometimes people see the overprotective instincts of siblings, parents or family as a whole, a bad thing. They find it perhaps suffocating. I myself, was once over guarded, overprotective. At some point, there was this irritation factor and question why do they have to set all eyes on me and kinda use the I-can-handle-myself phrase but really I lived to it. I understood it and that part was a big factor of how I grew up (obedient, respectful, loved). It was for me a challenge to earn all their trust and I made it. 2nd year college, they took off all the guards including my older brother who once asked favor from my cousin because he was far to guard me during SK elections not because I am a candidate but to watch over me and what I do and who I talk to.
I am proud then that I earned their trust and I deserve it. So this is what I see the problem is, people tend to misunderstood the over guarding oftentimes but at the same time instead of doing something to earn these people's trust, they chose to ran away and be so-called INDEPENDENT. I say, that is a hypocrite's style. One would learn to appreciate independence when it is initiated by trust.
This mentality, the BEING-INDEPENDENT state is usually rampant to girls at their teenage and the young professionals who for the longest time dont earn the trust of their parents. Sorry to say. Maybe it is not parent's trust, maybe parent's really trust but something has got to be wrong when you're parents trust you yet you struggle to fight to be ALL-BY-YOURSELF aka INDEPENDENT. I know people who chose to work far from home not to earn a living or for greener pasture but actually to be freed up from their mother's nag or their father's strictness. Because according to them, if they still stay at home, they wouldnt be able to do all the night out as you have to go home or you'll have your parents go wherever hell you are. So off they go, farther and farther from home. To escape from their parents protective mimicry. I say again, when you want to be Independent, earn it.
How would you feel when you're away trying your happy-life of independence and then you found out all of then are gone? I am a good daughter, trying to be the best. I never ran away from home nor escape just to be independent but it was painful when I lost my father and it is painful to be away from home to earn a living as the breadwinner now. How about you? When will you stop running and finding that hypocrite independence?
Peace.
ROseHYAcinth
First, why I came up with this topic? Simple. It is in. It is reality. It is what I saw, heard and observed. So let's start this post with this question. Do you hate your parents? I'll leave it to you. Well, ask and answer that to yourself.
The other day, my 15-year old cousin, after their fight with her older brother, ran away from home. I find it very amusing for her to bravely go her own way. According to her brothers and mother, they were used to that kind of stuffs she did. She had done it a lot of times before. I deduced from what I picked up there that probably she just dont want to be overly guarded by all her brothers being the only girl and the youngest in the family. Maybe, she find it very irritating that all eyes are always on her and that everytime, she is wrong. I tried to emphatized on her part but on the other hand, the family just want her welfare and that's the part whe she is blided. I was hurt hearing her answer her mother like she isnt her mother and to ran away from home in the middle of the night? I would not do that.
Sometimes people see the overprotective instincts of siblings, parents or family as a whole, a bad thing. They find it perhaps suffocating. I myself, was once over guarded, overprotective. At some point, there was this irritation factor and question why do they have to set all eyes on me and kinda use the I-can-handle-myself phrase but really I lived to it. I understood it and that part was a big factor of how I grew up (obedient, respectful, loved). It was for me a challenge to earn all their trust and I made it. 2nd year college, they took off all the guards including my older brother who once asked favor from my cousin because he was far to guard me during SK elections not because I am a candidate but to watch over me and what I do and who I talk to.
I am proud then that I earned their trust and I deserve it. So this is what I see the problem is, people tend to misunderstood the over guarding oftentimes but at the same time instead of doing something to earn these people's trust, they chose to ran away and be so-called INDEPENDENT. I say, that is a hypocrite's style. One would learn to appreciate independence when it is initiated by trust.
This mentality, the BEING-INDEPENDENT state is usually rampant to girls at their teenage and the young professionals who for the longest time dont earn the trust of their parents. Sorry to say. Maybe it is not parent's trust, maybe parent's really trust but something has got to be wrong when you're parents trust you yet you struggle to fight to be ALL-BY-YOURSELF aka INDEPENDENT. I know people who chose to work far from home not to earn a living or for greener pasture but actually to be freed up from their mother's nag or their father's strictness. Because according to them, if they still stay at home, they wouldnt be able to do all the night out as you have to go home or you'll have your parents go wherever hell you are. So off they go, farther and farther from home. To escape from their parents protective mimicry. I say again, when you want to be Independent, earn it.
How would you feel when you're away trying your happy-life of independence and then you found out all of then are gone? I am a good daughter, trying to be the best. I never ran away from home nor escape just to be independent but it was painful when I lost my father and it is painful to be away from home to earn a living as the breadwinner now. How about you? When will you stop running and finding that hypocrite independence?
Peace.
ROseHYAcinth
3.19.2010
Pay 8 Forward
This thought has been with me ever since I don't know when.
Pay It Forward. Whenever I received kindness, this is what I instill in my mind, to pay it forward. Whenever I received compassion, I always tell myself to pay it forward. Whenever I received generosity, I say to myself pay it forward.
To
pay it forward is to share blessings to others. Paying it forward is
something my foster parents in the Netherlands ask me in return for
their helping me in my college tuition fee. Paying it forward is what my
parents taught me with the little achievements/success I have. Paying
it forward is what God wants me to do with the many graces He showered
and continue showering on me.
PAY IT FORWARD is actually GIVING BACK.
So heavy words, so great a mission I commissioned myself.
I am born to pay it forward.
I am born blessed.
{ROseHYAcinth}
x.o.x.o
transferred from sfcrohya blog posted March 19, 2010
x.o.x.o
transferred from sfcrohya blog posted March 19, 2010
Destinations
They often say a Sagittarius loves to travel. Well, it is indeed true for me. In the world of Zodiac signs, I was born a Sagittarius - The Archer. Wiki says "In Greek mythology, Sagittarius is identified as a centaur: half human, half horse. The Babylonians identified Sagittarius as the god Pabilsag, who had wings and a lion's head." A horse runs fast. Wings allow one to fly. Lions are tough. I love to run, I want to fly and whether you like it or not, I am tough. I felt like mythology somehow is true for me huh.
Before I proceed with the real goal of this post - that is to list all places I want to go - I just want to share some information I got in my research on the characteristic of Sagittarius. BTW, Trivia: I usually spell Saggitarius in a double 'g' and not the double 't'. After I made this post, hopefully I make use of this to remember that it is SagiTTarius.
Provided by Tarot.com
The Sagittarius is really a centaur -- the lower half is
horse, the upper half is a man. The man is holding a bow with an arrow
aimed upwards toward the sky. This symbolizes the Sagittarius' drive to
overcome basic animal instincts by aiming his thoughts into the divine
realms of the heavens ("heaven is my final destination"). In other words, Sagittarius is hunting for ideas
and experiences that draw you into greater awareness ("always happy to learn"). As such,
Sagittarius tend to love adventure, travel and philosophy ("as this post is supposed to be on travel but yeah, adventure and philosopy")-- all ways
of extending beyond your immediate surroundings.Sagittarius tend to aim their arrows of thought upward, being the incurable optimists ("as in incurable, that's something I'm happy I am... being OPTISMISTIC as in INCURABLY") of the zodiac. Sagittarius often look at the sunny side of life and the silver lining to any dark cloud ("keep me trying to stand every downfall"). Sagittarius are honest to a fault, for you can say what's on your mind before you realize that someone's feelings might be hurt. ("to be honest, yes, been there and done that. hurt somebody because of my being brutally frank but that was way of concern. If I wouldnt tell them the truth, then, how would they know? Of course, Im trying to at least be tactful at times") Since the Sagittarius is part horse, there is also a connection between Sagittarius and horses, be it a love of riding or an emphasis on the most powerful part of a horse: its legs and thighs. In fact, many of Sagittarius love outdoor hiking and long distance running ("no wonder, I am into running or walking. It feels good to run.").
The Sagittarius motto is "It is better to know how to learn than to know." ("I'm loving this motto even if it is so nosebleed. laughs."). You seek knowledge and wisdom, never tiring of the quest for what is yet to come. Others enjoy being with you when you are in your outgoing and joyful mood, but you can become more sullen if you feel that your wings have been clipped ("I could be the bestest if this word exists, I could be your bestest best friend but I could also be your worstest worst enemy"). Even in a restrictive situation, however, you'll not lose hope ("Never say die. No retreat no surrender. I maybe destroyed but I'll never be DEFEATED") --and it is this inspirational perspective that leads you to your greatest success.("on a greater note: HOPE... is what I'm trying to give to others who dont have this")
Ninth House: Travel. ("Sagittarius is the 9th sign chuchu echus")
If the Third House is the House of Quick Trips, then the opposite Ninth House could be called the House of Long Distance Journeys. It's about foreign travel, higher education -- for that's travel in the mind and the potential adventure that the future holds. ("this brings me back to the purpose of this post")
Travelling is in my system. I couldnt take it away from me. Whether or not it is just a zero displacement, I still call it travel when my imagination reach some destination. So let me talk about, as in literally, places I want to go to.
I want to go to: (not in the proper order)
CEBU - all over Cebu, to places I haven't gone yet. including Malapascua islands and all other islands and many yet. Do the Northern Escapade, The Southern Heritage Trail, Urban Adventure, Discover Enchanting Camotes and Explore the Midwest.
BOHOL - visit the tarsiers, the chocolate hills, churches.
DUMAGUETE - explore, boulevard. (been there but just passed by)
GUIMARAS - mangoes. mangoes. mangoes
BORACAY - c'mon. at least be there in this lifetime.(laughs)
BACOLOD - city of smiles.
ILO ILO - the queen city of the south before Cebu.
SAMAR - San Juanico Bridge. (been there but no picture souvenir.huhuhu)
LEYTE - historic leyte. (been there)
BUKIDNON - pineapples. pineapples. pineapples
CAMIGUIN - lanzones. lanzones.lanzones
CAGAYAN DE ORO - white water rafting.
DAVAO - fruit basket of the philippines. the biggest city. (been there)
ILIGAN - Ma.Cristina falls.
SIARGAO ISLAND - surf
BAGUIO - summer capital of the Phils. (been there)
SAGADA - culture.
CAMARINES SUR - waves.
AURORA - Baler
LAGUNA - enchanted kingdom. (laughs) (been there but not EK)
MANILA - the capital. (currently here)
PALAWAN - El Nido
PUERTO GALERA - same reason as Bora.
PUERTO PRINCESA - for adventure.
SUBIC - same reason as Gale.
PANGASINAN - hundred islands.
TAGAYTAY - Taal
TUGUEGARAO, CAGAYAN VALLEY - heat.
DAGUPAN CITY - history.
THE NETHERLANDS - visit my foster parents.
HAWAII
SINGAPORE
HONGKONG
MALAYSIA
CANADA
NEW ZEALAND
NEW YORK
PARIS
BRAZIL
NORTH POLE
SWITZERLAND
WELL, all I can say is that:
"WAY TO GO SAGITTARIUS"
{ROseHYAcinth}
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