Day 1:

Romans 14:7-8
7 For none of us lives for himself and none dies for himself.
8 If we live, we live for the Lord; if we die, we die for the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's.

It's Ash Wednesday and I woke up just expecting the day to be the usual Ash Wednesday. I planned to attend mass but was not sure where. Then it was almost noon time that I felt lazy to go to church. Plus after reading the daily gospel, I was enlightened that I do not have to have that ash crossed on my forehead. The important thing is that I know the meaning of the start of lent. So I figuratively crossed my forehead for a commitment of penance this Lent season.

But God is marvelous, just awesome. Since I got lazy to go to church and attend the Holy Eucharist, He brought the church to me. I mean, there was a schedule mass in our office at 12:15. I bet God would would have told me "now you have no excuse my dear".

I ate lunch first, together with my lunch ladies mindful of no meat fasting. It was homily already when we arrived at the mass - glad I had my daily readings already.

Fasting, Prayer and Almsgiving are the 3 important things discussed like the previous Ash Wednesdays. We fast not for us to get thinner but for us to value sacrifice. We pray not for us to as blessing but to repent and ask for mercy and forgiveness. We give alms not to show off we have money and that we're generous but to learn how to be selfless. That's how I understood the homily.

Then the priest started sharing what he sacrificed for fasting before and for a moment I was thinking what's mine.

Out of the blue, Facebook logo appeared in my thoughts. Oh Nooo!!! Facebook has been my company for this lonely life. Oh No! How will I tell my friends about SFC ICON, about my trip to Baguio or my trip to Ilocos. Oh no! As I resisted the thought, a part of me was embracing it.

Much to my surprise, I even asked my friend Kim to watch over me as I fast Facebook. oh no! I have to stand for this. Maybe I needed that. There were many thoughts but I settled, 40 days without Facebook for the Glory of God.

He even affirmed during Communion, at the time I am in front of the priest, he timed out to get mire Eucharistic host and since we were only few left, He gave both the symbol of the blood and body of Christ. God's really working there for me.

Then after the mass, perhaps he sees why Im into Facebook is because I want to share, he give me this thought of writing this off. My 40-day Facebookless journey. My 40-day journey with God. This is for the Glory of God.

I posted one last status message before deactivating my account. "You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship you. Purify my heart Lord so that I may glorify you."

Facebook was deactivated temporarily.

Things to post in FB:
Ash Wednesday forehead photo

Haven't packed my things yet for tomorrow's light when I used to do this at least a week before my trip.


Earthquake Struck Visayas 2.6.12


I just came back to Manila the night of Feb 5 from my mother's funeral and burial. I was still very tired and stressed maybe due to the sleepless nights and tremendous crying that I asked for additional 1 day leave in the office. It was noon time when 2 of my friends in Cebu texted regarding an earthquake which was very strong that hit them. They were in Lapu-lapu City so I tried texting my other siblings. Ate Mayet in our hometown did not felt it same with Titing Delio who was in Lapu-lapu. I tried calling Inday Cherry in Balamban and she said, it was very strong in their place.

I immediately research the internet for the latest update but phivolcs site was down. Many of friends were updating in facebook and there was this tsunami alert raised. Some people misunderstood the alert as that there was really a tsunami coming to he Visayan shores that created tsunami scare and chaos in Cebu City alone. Some people pranked that the water was already in COlon creatig a huge commotion of the crowd in the city.

I on my end, kept contacting friends and loveones if they were okay and explain to them to be calm and not panic. PANIC means People Are Not Inform Correctly. Well, I was worried a lot deep inside and kept on praying that no tragedy will happen. I just lost my mother and I couldn't take losing - my clan - worst case. So I kept on praying and reminding them to calm and just be vigilant.
There were 3 more aftershocks of that 6.9 magnitude earthquake that devastated majorly Negros. Even the aftershocks were strong where the last one was around 7 in the evening as roported by friends. That evening, we housemates offer the rosary for the safety of everyone way back home and thankfully God is with us, as always.

Well apparently, even the earthquake was over, the commotion of Visayan people did not yet end as a certain Ahcee Flores posted ill-hearted words with the thought that she is praying that tsunami will happen so that many Visayans who she/he calls Baduy (low class) will die. That created chaos in the cryberworld even I reacted to that. They say it was a troll or someone using somebody else's photo posting some devastating words. Anyways, I only hope, he or she find the peace that she deserved.



What Am I?

Am I a Carrot? an Egg? or a Coffee Bean?

From Anonymous:
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.
If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another lever? 

I wish that right now I have the courage to say that I am a coffee bean. That whatever the circumstances, in the worst and the darkest days, I would get better and stronger and be able to change the situation around me. I would love to think that i do get better and stronger and can manage everything.

But sometimes, it seems to me that I am a carrot. Looking so tough and so strong at first but after the storm gets wilt, soft, damaged and lose strength and then like a baby crying so hard under the comfort of my pillows in the loneliest times.

And I tend be an egg that became hardened and stiff and succumb to pretending that I'm the same. I'm okay but on the inside is full of bitterness and pain and hard feelings.

I guess I am all three at times but I want to  be just one.

I hope I could be a coffee bean.

How about you?