barely there

While I was on my way the office one night being on a graveyard shift, I took my usual route that is - the MRT. Since it is gender segregated, I always go the ladies area where the first car of the train is. I noticed, while passing by  the guys area, that there are plenty of people waiting for the train to come. Well, primarily due to rush hour.

I usually position myself such that I always in that last door of the first car of the train. Approching the girls are, I saw a line of women. Then, I deduced, they formed this line to take turns in riding the train. Awkwardly, that was the only line. The other locations have no line. Thrilled by the thought of this disciplined act. I joined the line.

It took time before a train came in. People are staring at the line which was getting longer. I was ashamed at first on what people will say on us piling up in that UNUSUAL line but my righteous mind won. That was the right thing to do to show equality and fairness. Observing the flow of people while I'm waiting for my turn to ride the train, some woman opt to go to the other areas while some opted to join the line like me.

I just felt that, if only there is that one brave soul that would initiate, definitely someone would follow. I believe, the Filipinos always have wanted the change in our attitudes and practices. What I saw was an orderly system in taking turns to ride the train by forming a line. Isn't it amazing?



Inspiration of my Youth

These are stories where I picked values, inspiration, motivation to be what I am now. I'm grateful to the authors, because of these words I can say I am the better person now than who I was before.

Prayers Can't Be Answered Unless They Are Prayed
BY: Author Unknown

Life without purpose is barren indeed
There can't be a harvest unless you plant seed
There can't be attainment unless there's a goal
And man's but a robot unless there's a soul

If we send no ships out, no ships will come in
And unless there's a contest, nobody can't win
For games can't be won unless they are played
And prayers can't be answered unless they are prayed

So whatever is wrong with your life today
You'll find a solution if you kneel down and pray
Not just for pleasure, enjoyment and health
Not just for honors and prestige and wealth

But pray for a purpose to make life worth giving
And pray for the joy of unselfish giving
For great is your gladness and rich your reward
When you make your life's purpose the choice of the Lord.



-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Sadly: ONE Historic Tragedy

August 23, 2010 - Monday.

Who would have thought the day would end up with a tragedy, a very sad, globally witnessed tragedy? Nobody.

Waking up late due to the fact that I'm off shift that day and was up late the other night enjoying the despedida game we held for a friend who's coming back to our home city. I was just awaken by the phone rings as one of my elder sister called for some chit chat. I told myself to sleep right after the phone call but we had visitor so I had not gone back to bed.

I was busy taking some photos  from our visitor's DSLR when a breaking news on a hostage taking in Quirino grandstand, Manila was reported. At first, the thought did not sink in. Around 1 pm when our visitor had left and I was left alone in our unit as all other housemates had left for work already. I busied myself reading as I felt lazy to go out and go to relatives in Marikina to pay a visit. It was around 5 pm when I finally got up and do things I was supposed to be doing earlier. A housemate is already at home watching a movie.

As the darkness covered the sky, I was debating with myself if I should still go to Marikina or postponed it the next day. It took me a while to decide to stay home and do my laundry right then. I was about to prepare dinner when my housemate had tune in the television to a channel with the news on the hostage taking. I calmly grab a chair and sit to watch, albeit shocked  on the news I was watching. I commented "Isn't that over yet?". I was talking about the hostage taking crisis where a certain dismissed Sr. Superintendent hijacked a tourist bus with Chinese Nationals as hostages. The situation had been more than 9 hours already.

We were watching the live feed of a televesion network and we saw the escape of the bus driver from the hijacked bus. The driver was shouting "All people inside the bus are dead". This was maybe perhaps due to the traumatic experience he had. He was actually handcupped or tied to the steering wheel and we were wondering how he escaped that. We saw the live feed gun shots, the taker did from the inside to the wind shield. We saw how the police and swat assault team actioned the situations. It was for me, heart breaking to see such crisis standing still for so long.

The ending was that taker was killed when he started firing after a tear gas was thrown by police inside the bus. After 11 hours of crisis, the taker was killed with victims retrieve from the inside of the bus. Contrary to the statement of the bus driver, some hostages are still alive but sadly, there were dead (8 confirmed as of this wirting). The Hongkong government had black listed the Philippines in their travel advisory.

I agree with what some psychiatrists were saying that hostage takers have suicidal tendency for I think they won't have the guts to take hostages and expect themselves to have better lives. On the other hand, in my opinion, the hostage taker was really at first no intention on killing someday as it was shown that earlier that day he was releasing hostages (old man, mother with kids and the pinoy photographer). He even ordered for food for the hostages. I thought, it could have turned out peacefully with negotiations.

What I saw was the trigger of his rant and rage that lead him to kill some hostages was the incident between the police and his brother (who is a policeman too) or say, his brother's wrong moves and some notable mistakes of the handling of the crisis. First, was when he delivered the letter from Ombudsman (the demand of the hostage taker) to the bus where the hostage crisis is held, he was shouting, telling his brother not to sign anything unless his gun (the brother's gun which was confiscated as he is not on duty) is returned to him. The second and the one I think which finally provoked the taker was when police officers asked the brother to come with them to the headquearters for interrogation. Instead of calmly going with them, he acted like child causing commotion and other family members were like crazy in the scene too. I really saw it as obstruction of justice. They could have just coordinated well, calmy and peacefully so as not to worsen the scene.

Third, was the seemingly eager-to-get-exclusive-shots media personnels who were all over the vicinity of the crime scene. Yes, i believe, it is there obligation to reach to the masses what is going on but with sensitive, dangerous and delicate cases like the hostage taking, in my opinion, they could have implemented what a responsible journalism must did. In providing live footages and update to what was happening, no doubt the taker could have the technology to watch it that made him more angry perhaps. And lastly, the lousy system of the police, it was uncoordinated, uncertain. It was an unsystematic assault with bloopers like the axe getting inside the bus and police getting it back, or the time when the emergency door was open and policemen get inside the bus when the hostage taker fire a shot, they immediately got down, or just the simply not wearing of proper vest and hat during assault or the not wearing of mask during retieval knowing a tear gas was thrown. Please, I understand we aren't perfect but we could have done better.

I reckon any blame or thoughts of blame I have. No one is to blame but I'm hoping everyone would get the lessons and learnings the tragedy had brought in that way those lives are not wasted in wain.


Rubik's Cube


I got the patience to literally try once and for all conquering and I MEAN first time conquering the infamous Rubik's cube.

I know Rubik's cube long time ago but I never had any inch of interest in solving or trying it not until recently. Honestly, I never tried before or got interested because I had this wrong notion that the Rubik's cubes are for retarted people. Yes, I was wrong or else I am called RETARDED now. But truthfully, maybe I really had not tried it because I was not that patient enough. Patience is a virtue that is hard to acquire.

So, for the longest time, it was just this June that I made up my mind to try it once and for (ALL?) me. (laughs). June 6, 2010; I bought not the original cube yet but one that cost me 20 pesos only at Vente. I started studying it the next day June 7. June 8 was my day off so I was determined to solve it first time and gladly I did. Congratulations to me!.

Now, I'm studying the cube when I have time. I'm trying to deduce my own style in solving it and hopefully my own style could help others who want to test their patience skill. I am very happy I tried it, now I'm trying to master it but truth of the matter is, I'm still really far from being a real cubist nor a master.

For now, I accept my being an amateur cubist, beginner and the likes but I am determined to master this and I will.

Patience is a virtue. Again and again.




Just Some Flash of Thought: Welcome to SoGod

I was in the bus travelling to hometown for some visit and short weekend vacation. One town away from ours, some flash of thought came through me. The subject is about to signage of the town "Welcome to Sogod" in front of the municipal hall. Then I just remembered some interesting memory of that signage.

It is accustomed during yuletide season to put some lights anywhere that suits. One time before, they decorated the signage with light in such a way that even at night, one would still be able to read the sign 'WELCOME TO SOGOD'. By the way, the signage is on the grass, actually it was made of grasses forming the sign. The Christmas season had passed yet still due to long gotten tradition to continue the spirit of Christmas even until February.

I passed by the place one evening while travelling on a bus going home way back college, went to look outside the window and to my amazement. The signage "WELCOME TO SOGOD" was not at all well lighted or probably lights got busted that instead of that sign, the message visible to me was "COME TO GOD". I didn't know if it was intended but really it STRUCK me.

Now, the grasses are dying due to the intense heat that the signage is not at all recognizable. But I'm hoping, somebody else got that message too.



I have a FEVER!

Though honestly, I felt like I'm going to be sick today or anytime soon as I'm really not feeling well, this post ain't about that. The FEVER I said in the title means a Passion, Desire. Something burning in me.

If you might have read some posts in my other blog (half brain dead) you would recall how my year started. It was lonely. I felt LOST. I was praying to God, give me something to keep me going. Something I'll treasure, I'll get busy myself, I'll excel. There is something I want to do. Actually, there are many things I want to do. But that something I'm praying, is something I could do best with no pressure.

I am a frustrated writer, though I'm trying my very best through this blogs but really I wanted more to the point where I pressured myself. That aint good. So I stop exploring that part, hopefully it will be uncovered again in the future. I am a frustrated photographer. I dont have the resources to support that for now. There are things worth more priority than that. I have bought a simple digital camera when I was in 5th year college from my allowances. Simple point and shoot. But I left it home for my family's use. For now, let's freeze that.

I was asking God to give me something to divert my attention in all those frustrations, not just the one I mentioned. But all the toughness life brings. I needed something for I felt no one and nobody. During Christmas season, I thought I would start my being a cubist (Rubik's cube). I haven't solve one so I'm planning to master it. But unfortunately, with all my wish lists containing Rubik's cube, no one gave me even a fake one. So the first month of the year, I was talking to God what is that I need to do. Make me go. Keep me going. He gave me the FEVER for RUNNING.

Why do I run? For a cause, for fun, for health, for wellness, for fitness and for a change. This is what keeps me going. For now, I do not know when the fever will stop but I'll enjoy it for now. This makes me happy. Sorta kinda like a God's gift. I run for life.



For the Love of Independence

Freedom, democracy, independence. I think they almost mean the same. But this blog is not about a political propaganda nor a diplomatic speech or the likes. One thing for sure, this isnt about EDSA or anything like that. (lol) Actually this post is about people or specifically young ones or more specifically daughters.

First, why I came up with this topic? Simple. It is in. It is reality. It is what I saw, heard and observed. So let's start this post with this question. Do you hate your parents? I'll leave it to you. Well, ask and answer that to yourself.

The other day, my 15-year old cousin, after their fight with her older brother, ran away from home. I find it very amusing for her to bravely go her own way. According to her brothers and mother, they were used to that kind of stuffs she did. She had done it a lot of times before. I deduced from what I picked up there that probably she just dont want to be overly guarded by all her brothers being the only girl and the youngest in the family. Maybe, she find it very irritating that all eyes are always on her and that everytime, she is wrong. I tried to emphatized on her part but on the other hand, the family just want her welfare and that's the part whe she is blided. I was hurt hearing her answer her mother like she isnt her mother and to ran away from home in the middle of the night? I would not do that.

Sometimes people see the overprotective instincts of siblings, parents or family as a whole, a bad thing. They find it perhaps suffocating. I myself, was once over guarded, overprotective. At some point, there was this irritation factor and question why do they have to set all eyes on me and kinda use the I-can-handle-myself phrase but really I lived to it. I understood it and that part was a big factor of how I grew up (obedient, respectful, loved). It was for me a challenge to earn all their trust and I made it. 2nd year college, they took off all the guards including my older brother who once asked favor from my cousin because he was far to guard me during SK elections not because I am a candidate but to watch over me and what I do and who I talk to.

I am proud then that I earned their trust and I deserve it. So this is what I see the problem is, people tend to misunderstood the over guarding oftentimes but at the same time instead of doing something to earn these people's trust, they chose to ran away and be so-called INDEPENDENT. I say, that is a hypocrite's style. One would learn to appreciate independence when it is initiated by trust.

This mentality, the BEING-INDEPENDENT state is usually rampant to girls at their teenage and the young professionals who for the longest time dont earn the trust of their parents. Sorry to say. Maybe it is not parent's trust, maybe parent's really trust but something has got to be wrong when you're parents trust you yet you struggle to fight to be ALL-BY-YOURSELF aka INDEPENDENT. I know people who chose to work far from home not to earn a living or for greener pasture but actually to be freed up from their mother's nag or their father's strictness. Because according to them, if they still stay at home, they wouldnt be able to do all the night out as you have to go home or you'll have your parents go wherever hell you are. So off they go, farther and farther from home. To escape from their parents protective mimicry. I say again, when you want to be Independent, earn it.

How would you feel when you're away trying your happy-life of independence and then you found out all of then are gone? I am a good daughter, trying to be the best. I never ran away from home nor escape just to be independent but it was painful when I lost my father and it is painful to be away from home to earn a living as the breadwinner now. How about you? When will you stop running and finding that hypocrite independence?




Pay 8 Forward

This thought has been with me ever since I don't know when.

Pay It Forward. Whenever I received kindness, this is what I instill in my mind, to pay it forward. Whenever I received compassion, I always tell myself to pay it forward.  Whenever I received generosity, I say to myself pay it forward.

 To pay it forward is to share blessings to others. Paying it forward is something my foster parents in the Netherlands ask me in return for their helping me in my college tuition fee. Paying it forward is what my parents taught me with the little achievements/success I have. Paying it forward is what God wants me to do with the many graces He showered and continue showering on me.


So heavy words, so great a mission I commissioned myself.

I am born to pay it forward.
I am born blessed.


transferred from sfcrohya blog posted March 19, 2010 


They often say a Sagittarius loves to travel. Well, it is indeed true for me. In the world of Zodiac signs, I was born a Sagittarius - The Archer. Wiki says "In Greek mythology, Sagittarius is identified as a centaur: half human, half horse. The Babylonians identified Sagittarius as the god Pabilsag, who had wings and a lion's head." A horse runs fast. Wings allow one to fly. Lions are tough. I love to run, I want to fly and whether you like it or not, I am tough. I felt like mythology somehow is true for me huh.

Before I proceed with the real goal of this post - that is to list all places I want to go - I just want to share some information I got in my research on the characteristic of Sagittarius. BTW, Trivia: I usually spell Saggitarius in a double 'g' and not the double 't'. After I made this post, hopefully I make use of this to remember that it is SagiTTarius.

Provided by Tarot.com 
The Sagittarius is really a centaur -- the lower half is horse, the upper half is a man. The man is holding a bow with an arrow aimed upwards toward the sky. This symbolizes the Sagittarius' drive to overcome basic animal instincts by aiming his thoughts into the divine realms of the heavens ("heaven is my final destination"). In other words, Sagittarius is hunting for ideas and experiences that draw you into greater awareness ("always happy to learn"). As such, Sagittarius tend to love adventure, travel and philosophy ("as this post is supposed to be on travel but yeah, adventure and philosopy")-- all ways of extending beyond your immediate surroundings.

Sagittarius tend to aim their arrows of thought upward, being the incurable optimists ("as in incurable, that's something I'm happy I am... being OPTISMISTIC as in INCURABLY") of the zodiac. Sagittarius often look at the sunny side of life and the silver lining to any dark cloud ("keep me trying to stand every downfall"). Sagittarius are honest to a fault, for you can say what's on your mind before you realize that someone's feelings might be hurt. ("to be honest, yes, been there and done that. hurt somebody because of my being brutally frank but that was way of concern. If I wouldnt tell them the truth, then, how would they know? Of course, Im trying to at least be tactful at times") Since the Sagittarius is part horse, there is also a connection between Sagittarius and horses, be it a love of riding or an emphasis on the most powerful part of a horse: its legs and thighs. In fact, many of Sagittarius love outdoor hiking and long distance running ("no wonder, I am into running or walking. It feels good to run.").

The Sagittarius motto is "It is better to know how to learn than to know." ("I'm loving this motto even if it is so nosebleed. laughs."). You seek knowledge and wisdom, never tiring of the quest for what is yet to come. Others enjoy being with you when you are in your outgoing and joyful mood, but you can become more sullen if you feel that your wings have been clipped ("I could be the bestest if this word exists, I could be your bestest best friend but I could also be your worstest worst enemy"). Even in a restrictive situation, however, you'll not lose hope ("Never say die. No retreat no surrender. I maybe destroyed but I'll never be DEFEATED") --and it is this inspirational perspective that leads you to your greatest success.("on a greater note: HOPE... is what I'm trying to give to others who dont have this")

Ninth House: Travel("Sagittarius is the 9th sign chuchu echus")
If the Third House is the House of Quick Trips, then the opposite Ninth House could be called the House of Long Distance Journeys. It's about foreign travel, higher education -- for that's travel in the mind and the potential adventure that the future holds. ("this brings me back to the purpose of this post")

Travelling is in my system. I couldnt take it away from me. Whether or not it is just a zero displacement, I still call it travel when my imagination reach some destination. So let me talk about, as in literally, places I want to go to.

I want to go to: (not in the proper order)

CEBU - all over Cebu, to places I haven't gone yet. including Malapascua islands and all other islands and many yet. Do the Northern Escapade, The Southern Heritage Trail, Urban Adventure, Discover Enchanting Camotes and Explore the Midwest.   

BOHOL - visit the tarsiers, the chocolate hills, churches.

DUMAGUETE - explore, boulevard. (been there but just passed by)

GUIMARAS - mangoes. mangoes. mangoes

BORACAY - c'mon. at least be there in this lifetime.(laughs)

BACOLOD - city of smiles.

ILO ILO - the queen city of the south before Cebu.

SAMAR - San Juanico Bridge.  (been there but no picture souvenir.huhuhu)

LEYTE - historic leyte. (been there)

BUKIDNON - pineapples. pineapples. pineapples

CAMIGUIN - lanzones. lanzones.lanzones

CAGAYAN DE ORO - white water rafting.

DAVAO - fruit basket of the philippines. the biggest city. (been there)

ILIGAN - Ma.Cristina falls.


BAGUIO - summer capital of the Phils. (been there)

SAGADA - culture.


AURORA - Baler

LAGUNA - enchanted kingdom. (laughs) (been there but not EK)

MANILA - the capital. (currently here)


PUERTO GALERA - same reason as Bora. 

PUERTO PRINCESA - for adventure.

SUBIC - same reason as Gale.

PANGASINAN - hundred islands.



DAGUPAN CITY - history.

THE NETHERLANDS - visit my foster parents. 









WELL, all I can say is that: