I have a FEVER!

Though honestly, I felt like I'm going to be sick today or anytime soon as I'm really not feeling well, this post ain't about that. The FEVER I said in the title means a Passion, Desire. Something burning in me.

If you might have read some posts in my other blog (half brain dead) you would recall how my year started. It was lonely. I felt LOST. I was praying to God, give me something to keep me going. Something I'll treasure, I'll get busy myself, I'll excel. There is something I want to do. Actually, there are many things I want to do. But that something I'm praying, is something I could do best with no pressure.

I am a frustrated writer, though I'm trying my very best through this blogs but really I wanted more to the point where I pressured myself. That aint good. So I stop exploring that part, hopefully it will be uncovered again in the future. I am a frustrated photographer. I dont have the resources to support that for now. There are things worth more priority than that. I have bought a simple digital camera when I was in 5th year college from my allowances. Simple point and shoot. But I left it home for my family's use. For now, let's freeze that.

I was asking God to give me something to divert my attention in all those frustrations, not just the one I mentioned. But all the toughness life brings. I needed something for I felt no one and nobody. During Christmas season, I thought I would start my being a cubist (Rubik's cube). I haven't solve one so I'm planning to master it. But unfortunately, with all my wish lists containing Rubik's cube, no one gave me even a fake one. So the first month of the year, I was talking to God what is that I need to do. Make me go. Keep me going. He gave me the FEVER for RUNNING.

Why do I run? For a cause, for fun, for health, for wellness, for fitness and for a change. This is what keeps me going. For now, I do not know when the fever will stop but I'll enjoy it for now. This makes me happy. Sorta kinda like a God's gift. I run for life.



For the Love of Independence

Freedom, democracy, independence. I think they almost mean the same. But this blog is not about a political propaganda nor a diplomatic speech or the likes. One thing for sure, this isnt about EDSA or anything like that. (lol) Actually this post is about people or specifically young ones or more specifically daughters.

First, why I came up with this topic? Simple. It is in. It is reality. It is what I saw, heard and observed. So let's start this post with this question. Do you hate your parents? I'll leave it to you. Well, ask and answer that to yourself.

The other day, my 15-year old cousin, after their fight with her older brother, ran away from home. I find it very amusing for her to bravely go her own way. According to her brothers and mother, they were used to that kind of stuffs she did. She had done it a lot of times before. I deduced from what I picked up there that probably she just dont want to be overly guarded by all her brothers being the only girl and the youngest in the family. Maybe, she find it very irritating that all eyes are always on her and that everytime, she is wrong. I tried to emphatized on her part but on the other hand, the family just want her welfare and that's the part whe she is blided. I was hurt hearing her answer her mother like she isnt her mother and to ran away from home in the middle of the night? I would not do that.

Sometimes people see the overprotective instincts of siblings, parents or family as a whole, a bad thing. They find it perhaps suffocating. I myself, was once over guarded, overprotective. At some point, there was this irritation factor and question why do they have to set all eyes on me and kinda use the I-can-handle-myself phrase but really I lived to it. I understood it and that part was a big factor of how I grew up (obedient, respectful, loved). It was for me a challenge to earn all their trust and I made it. 2nd year college, they took off all the guards including my older brother who once asked favor from my cousin because he was far to guard me during SK elections not because I am a candidate but to watch over me and what I do and who I talk to.

I am proud then that I earned their trust and I deserve it. So this is what I see the problem is, people tend to misunderstood the over guarding oftentimes but at the same time instead of doing something to earn these people's trust, they chose to ran away and be so-called INDEPENDENT. I say, that is a hypocrite's style. One would learn to appreciate independence when it is initiated by trust.

This mentality, the BEING-INDEPENDENT state is usually rampant to girls at their teenage and the young professionals who for the longest time dont earn the trust of their parents. Sorry to say. Maybe it is not parent's trust, maybe parent's really trust but something has got to be wrong when you're parents trust you yet you struggle to fight to be ALL-BY-YOURSELF aka INDEPENDENT. I know people who chose to work far from home not to earn a living or for greener pasture but actually to be freed up from their mother's nag or their father's strictness. Because according to them, if they still stay at home, they wouldnt be able to do all the night out as you have to go home or you'll have your parents go wherever hell you are. So off they go, farther and farther from home. To escape from their parents protective mimicry. I say again, when you want to be Independent, earn it.

How would you feel when you're away trying your happy-life of independence and then you found out all of then are gone? I am a good daughter, trying to be the best. I never ran away from home nor escape just to be independent but it was painful when I lost my father and it is painful to be away from home to earn a living as the breadwinner now. How about you? When will you stop running and finding that hypocrite independence?